What really motivates you?
If you ever lost your motivation, you’ve got to read this!
I would absolutely love to be able to motivate all my clients and my friends to lead a healthy lifestyle and see the benefits. However, I have learned over the years that I CANNOT motivate anybody!
Motivation is something that comes from the inside of a person. You can inspire someone and cheer on, but if the internal motivation isn’t there, there’s nothing you can do to “motivate” someone else.
But where does motivation come from and how do we sustain it?
I often think if we could play the “game of life” the way we play the game of golf, it would be amazing. For some reason, most golfers are motivated to keep up the game and don’t need much external motivation to keep coming back.
In life, when things don’t go the way we are hoping or if we don’t reach our goals, motivation often drops and we tend to give up easily. In golf, you could have the worse round even and still come out again for another game. We don’t tend to give up a round because of a bad shot even though we might feel like doing so in that very moment.
And yet, in life, motivation comes and goes and can be so difficult to understand.
Coming up to the New Year, many people might make New Year’s resolutions. Even if you don’t, you might reflect on how you’d like the New Year to be or how the “old” one went.
Therefore, I’ve written this article on helping people find and stay their OWN motivation.
Most of what I write about has been inspired by a book that I read on the science of motivation by Ayelet Fishback “Get it done!”
Get it Done: Surprising Lessons from the Science of Motivation : Fishbach, Ayelet: Amazon.ie: Books
There were 3 parts that I found very interesting as they explained some of my own struggles and struggles I’ve seen in clients when it comes to “motivation”.
1. Taking Action is the greatest motivator!
2. Do you get motivated by success or lack of success?
3. Understanding the danger of being in the middle of reaching your goal.
1. Taking action is the greatest motivator!
This seems kind of obvious. But how many of us have a long list of the things we’d love to do (again) and just struggle to get started?
But just taking the very first step already is increasing overall motivation many-folds.
Motivation comes by doing and not by thinking or planning about things. And it’s definitely something I have seen over and over again. The first time, you go to a new gym or class is daunting, but once you’ve done it once, not only does it become easier, that first class or session is also increasing motivation. There’s a sense of achievement of having finally started with whatever it was that has been on the to-do-list for far too long.
I was also fascinated by an experiment described in the book. Researchers tested loyalty cards of a coffee shop with two different groups. The first group received an empty booklet where they have to collect 10 stamps for a free coffee. The second group also got a booklet but with 12 stamps to collect for a free coffee, but there were already two stamps stamped for them. Realistically, both groups had to buy 10 coffees themselves to get a free one. But the group that had the booklets where two were stamped already – i.e. they perceived as if they already had “started” – were more active in achieving all 10 and all made sure to complete the booklet. Whereas the group that didn’t get the headstart – i.e. perceived it as not having started yet – were overall less motivated to even get one coffee.
My tip:
If there is anything in the back of your head that you’d love to get done, or do – whether it’s health related or just doing something for fun.
JUST GET STARTED!
Don’t wait for motivation to kick in. Don’t wait for the right and perfect time to get started. Don’t look for excuses. And definitely, don’t wait for your motivation.
Motivation comes by DOING!
I’ve come across so many people over the years who tell me that they’d love to take up golf. And once they take the first lessons and get started, they are “hooked” and ask themselves “Why didn’t I start earlier?” Then the motivation comes very quickly to get the handicap down. And those who do get it down quickly, seem to be even more motivated to take more lessons and to buy the adequate equipment.
2. Discover whether you get motivated by success or by lack of success.
Sometimes, we see success very quickly and then tend to “relax” too quickly with our motivation and drive towards the goal.
In other cases, realising we are falling behind our goals can be the driver to keep motivation going. Understanding the patterns and pitfalls helps keep motivation up.
If you play golf, you can remain very focused by having a good front 9 holes and the “success” is your motivator, but it can also go the other way. You get so worried about having had a good score for the front nine, that the fear of failure puts so much pressure on you that you cannot score well on the back 9.
Some people might be motivated by realising that they need to have at least 18points on the back to make it over 30points overall that they put all the effort and focus into the game. While others give up as they’ve only had 12 points on the front and think they can’t win anyway.
Something, I have seen over the years many times, is that people are very motivated once they start a programme of working with me on achieving a health goal. They do everything as “perfect” as possible. They add the veggies, they add protein, they ask loads of questions on particular foods – and are extremely motivated.
They see a “success” or result very quickly. And then they “relax”. A little bit of sugar creeps in again, a day without veggies and they rely on “having done so well already”. They feel, it was so easy to start with and expect this “enthusiasm” to come back as quickly again, even if they “relax” for a few days.
But then suddenly after a few days of not sticking to the new regime, they find they also lost their motivation all together.
It’s a very tricky situation and happens to so many people. It’s the reason why many people struggle to create new habits. But once you realise what is going on, and that this is just a “pattern”, you can get stuck in again and you can get your motivation back.
Reminding yourself, why you started in the first place is really important at this stage. Acknowledging initial success and using this as a source of renewed motivation is also very important at this stage.
For some people, it’s the opposite; they could be motivated by “falling behind” a goal.
Let’s say I’ve agreed with someone on certain things they were committing to get done within two weeks where I would meet them again. They might not get anything or very little done at the start and then 2 days before our appointment, they get it all done. They get motivated by deadlines.
When it comes to healthy eating, the “Deadline” Motivation doesn’t work, as healthy eating habits should be something that is done daily. But with some projects, it can be a great way to get something done full of enthusiasm.
Some people generally tend to be one or the other – motivated by success or by failure, however, often it depends on the situation.
Understanding, the two different patterns can help get motivation back or remain motivated.
3. Understand the danger of being in the middle.
People tend to give up on their goals when they are in the middle between the initial motivation of getting started on something exciting and being close to reaching the goal. Most people seem to lose motivation once they “plateau”, i.e. when they can’t see a progress anymore and when the end-goal seems to far out of reach.
If you are a golfer, you might struggle on holes 14 and 15. Getting the first 9-holes done can be easy, you’re full of energy, but then the next 9 seem like so much more. However, when you’re past the 15th, there are only 3 more holes left, and time passes very quickly again.
If you are running any longer distance, it’s usually tricky at the very start, but then you get into a stride, then comes a phase were the end seems miles away, but as you get closer to the finishing line, your motivation comes back again and you might give it that extra sprint.
We instinctively understand the middle in a one “race” or “game” event, with a definite start and finish. When it comes to healthy lifestyle, we need to break the overall goal of creating healthy habits down into precise and measurable goals (finish lines). Even though we never really finish, as these are life-long habits.
For example:
– Reaching a specific weight or clothes size by a certain date
– Having no alcohol for one month
– Having no sugar or fruit for 2 weeks
– Walking 12 000 steps every day and doing 3 gym sessions per week
– Counting the number of various vegetables in a week, aiming for 50 different ones
Let’s focus on the last one as an example. You start out on a Monday by having 10 different vegetables, and then struggle to find anything between Tuesday and Saturday, i.e in 5 days you only manage to have 3 different ones. But then you realise, you are so close to reaching your target of 50, that on Sunday, you put in every effort to have 10 different ones again.
The middle is when we “plateau”. Something, I see so often, especially clients who want to loose weight. And especially those who make major changes in their diet and therefore see very good results very quickly.
When we change from a really “bad” diet to simply leaving out the processed foods and increasing veggies, the results happen very quickly. And everybody expects this has to be continuing that way.
However, what isn’t often talked about is that the metabolism slows down once there is a calorie reduction. Therefore, there comes a time when nothing seem to happen anymore. And this is when many people lose motivation and give up. They see it as a failure. They think they’re doing something “wrong”.
What is need at this stage, it perseverance and resilience.
The body at some stage doesn’t need more “Calorie” restrictions or being “stricted” – the body needs to pile on nutrients, as much as possible. It needs to feel safe, and in the knowledge that there isn’t a “famine” coming. Eating nutritious food, packed with good quality protein, good fats and loads of fibre is the quay – when stuck in the middle or when plateauing.
There will come the point, when you see things moving forward again, and that’s when motivation comes again.
But that middle part of reaching a goal is tricky and that’s a time when you cannot rely on motivation. You need to over-rule it by logical thinking.
I hope with those few examples, I have given you some background on how motivation can fluctuate and how you cannot “rely” on motivation alone.
If you want to learn more about it, I would recommend you reading this book. It’s a bit science-y and at times very lengthy explanations, but I found some really fascinating nuggets in it.
Let me know, if you found this article helpful, and which part you found helpful in particular.
